


Emily

by sussie_kitten (sussiekitten)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Explicit Language, M/M, Out of Character, Slash, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-21
Updated: 2007-05-25
Packaged: 2018-09-30 11:19:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10162016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sussiekitten/pseuds/sussie_kitten
Summary: What would you do if everything was taken from you? It was because of a drunken encounter that Harry learnt his answer to this phrase. But the real question remains, what is his answer? This is the tragic tale of a broken heart and what it can make someone do, and the consequences of those actions. Mentions of Mpreg.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

_Disclaimer: I own nothing! Just the plot… oh, and Emily of course. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling._

 

****

**

Part One.

**

****

Harry sighed, and wondered how it had come to this. He was sitting inside his flat, watching his daughter sleep. She seemed so innocent. It pained him that she had to be put through this. It pained Harry that it had come to this. He blamed himself every day, but that would not bring him back.

Harry sat down with another sigh, his usually vivid green eyes dull. He found himself often thinking about that incident that had changed his life. He had been engaged to the only man he had ever loved and together they had fathered a child. Then that night had happened, and it had all been taken away from him. All because of that he couldn’t hold his liquor. Harry tried to push the memories away, but found that he couldn’t. They came crashing down as clear as if it had been yesterday.

 

**Flashback:**   
_The party was at full swing. It was the annual Ministry party, and anyone who was anyone was there. Harry was alone; his fiancé was coming along later. Harry hated it when the blonde got so deep into his work, but when he saw the man’s face, Harry forgot he had even been angry._

_The black haired male sipped his third (or was it forth?) drink for the evening. He always despised such parties, but his other half always got him to go. Well, more like bribed him to go. There was nothing like the promise of a shag to get Harry going where his fiancé wanted him to go. Even if it had been to one of Snape’s lectures. Well, it might have taken two shags to make Harry go to that though._

_Harry turned to take a quick glance at the door for the hundredth time when he heard someone approach. He turned around, hoping to see the familiar grey eyes, but was sadly disappointed._

_“Hello Harry.” The female in front of him purred._

_“Greengrass.” Harry answered civilly._

_“Please, do call me Daphne.” Daphne Greengrass said in a silky voice._

_Harry only smiled, or at least he tried to._

_“Why the long face? Have you been stood up?”_

_Harry noticed the hopeful tone in the female’s voice, and felt himself shudder. This was one of the reasons he despised parties. Some women, and even some men, failed to understand the concept that he was taken. Something that had irritated Harry’s fiancé more than once._

_“No, I am waiting for someone who will be showing up very soon.”_

_What Harry meant was; fuck off before my fiancé arrives and kills you. Of course Daphne chose not to hear the underlying message._

_“Well, I’m sure they won’t mind if I keep you company until then.” Daphne purred, and proceeded to show off her generous v-cut dress._

_“I think that_ he _would mind actually.” Harry answered; pointedly not looking to were the redhead wanted him to._

_“Finally got yourself a boyfriend then Harry? And why isn’t he here, if I may ask?”_

_“My_ fiancé _is just running a little late.”_

_There was a flash of irritation in the ex-Slytherin’s eyes. Harry smirked quietly to himself. If that wouldn’t get Daphne going, then he didn’t know what might._

_“And you’re engaged. So, tell me about the lucky guy.” Daphne asked in a sickly sweet tone._

_“You know, I just remembered that I have to do something. Excuse me Greengrass.”_

_Harry walked away, mentally shuddering. Daphne was actually very attractive, but not what he preferred. Harry might have turned out bisexual, but he knew that he preferred men._   
**End flashback.**

 

Harry finally managed to get himself out of his memories. And in good time. In his nightmares he rarely saw what lead up to the break-up. He usually saw what had damaged his life forever. And the nightmares always ended with the heartbroken face of his love turning cold and dark, saying those words Harry would never ever forget. _It’s over._

Two simple words, or even three if you wanted them to be, that had brought Harry’s world crashing down.

Harry never actually remembered the part where Greengrass had gotten to him, he only remembered when his fiancé had gotten home, and found them in bed together. Tears welled up in Harry’s eyes. He had sworn he would never cry again, but it was no use. He could not block the memories or the tears that began to flow out of his closed eyes.

 

**Flashback:**   
_Harry woke up, head pounding. He swore silently and sat up. Damn, he hated hangovers. Harry was just about to get up when he felt someone move beside him. Frowning, he turned his head gently to welcome his lover. If Harry had been eating or drinking; he would have chocked._

_“Good morning tiger.”_

_The female beside Harry was definitely not his fiancé. And the mere thought made Harry crawl backwards only to land heavily on the floor._

_“Harry darling, are you alright?”_

_Harry snatched up his boxers and put them on in haste. He was practically seething when he finally did stand up again._

_“Greengrass, what the fuck are you doing here?!” Harry growled more than he asked._

_Daphne looked at him innocently. The sheet she had wrapped poorly around her slid even more open when she sat up._

_“Darling, don’t tell me you don’t remember last night?”_

_Harry felt himself pale and flush at the same time._

_“Greengrass, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about, but I would like you to get the hell out of my flat. Please.”_

_The ‘please’ did not conceal the fact that Harry was seething, nor had he meant it to._

_“Well, if you want me to leave so badly, you have to help me find my clothes. I have no idea of their whereabouts.” Daphne said silkily, a small smirk on her lips._

_“Why not?” Harry spit out, pulling on a pair of sweat-pants over his boxers._

_“You were in such a hurry to get them off that I have no idea where they landed.” Daphne answered innocently, but the image was ruined when she licked her lips._

_It was first then everything came crashing down. Harry leant on the closest wall, feeling the nausea rising. Surely he hadn’t done that last night?_

_“Oh yes you did tiger.” Daphne said, as if she had read his mind._

_“I do not care for your lies at the moment Greengrass. Just get your clothes and Apparate the fuck out of here!” Harry growled, feeling a new emotion rise._

_What was the time? Hopefully his fiancé wouldn’t be home for another hour or so._

_Daphne pouted, wrapped the sheet more around herself and leant down to pick up her undergarments. Just then Harry’s world came crashing down. From the other side of the flat Harry could hear the lock turning. He felt his eyes widen._

_“Greengrass, just grab your things and Apparate out NOW!” Harry whispered urgently._

_“Why are you whispering Harry darling?” Daphne said, feigning innocence._

_It was then Harry understood it all. He had been set up. And it was then the door opened and clicked shut._

_“Harry, are you awake?”_

_Harry swallowed down the panic he felt and marched soundlessly over to the female inside his room._

_“Apparate now Greengrass, before I am no longer responsible of my actions.” He said into her rapidly paling face._

_Harry figured he must have looked very angered. The again, he were._

_“Okey darling.” Daphne answered, still too loudly for Harry’s liking_  
.  
“Harry, was that you?” 

_Harry heard footsteps approach his room. It was now the panic set in. He looked into Daphne’s face and saw only triumph. She had indeed been planning this. Harry stood paralyzed. He had no idea what to do._

_Daphne smirked at him and lay down sensually on the bed. As if on cue, the door opened._

_Four things happened all at once. Harry felt himself sink to the floor, leaning on the wall he had no idea he had walked over to. Daphne let out a faked sound of surprise, letting the covers slip open only slightly. The object in the new-arrived hands fell to the floor, no one really paying it any mind. And the blonde in the doorway, Draco Malfoy, stood gaping.  
The silence stretched until Daphne seemingly regained her mind and Apparated away, but not before letting both men see her nude state. Harry whimpered quietly. The sound seemed to wake Draco from his trance._

_Draco turned slowly towards his fiancé, a blank look on his face. Harry was not fooled by it though, the betrayal was clear in those glowing eyes._

_“Harry, tell me that was not Daphne Greengrass lying naked on your bed just now.” Draco said slightly desperate._

_Harry found himself unable to answer. He only whimpered again and stood up with some difficulties. When he again looked into Draco’s face, he wished he hadn’t. His lover had tears shining in his storm-grey eyes._

_“Potter, you are going to tell me what the hell she was doing on your bed, and you are going to tell me now.” Draco said calmly._

_Harry flinched as if he had shouted. A calm Draco was never a good sign._

_“Please Draco, don’t be mad -”_

_Harry didn’t get further until he was interrupted._

_“I think I have the right to be mad right now Potter. How fucking could you!” Draco screamed. “Have you no heart at all?! You have a daughter Potter, a frigging daughter!”  
Draco panted heavily before he continued in an icy tone._

_“Or does she mean nothing to you? Do I mean nothing to you?”_

_“No Draco, you don’t understand!” Harry began, but once again he was cut off._

_“Fucking right I don’t understand. Only yesterday you were the perfect man I thought you to be. And here you are, not even showered after your little tryst. I only wonder Potter, was she the first?”_

_Harry finally managed to look into his love’s eyes. Tears had travelled down his cheeks, and the eyes had become reddish. But the look in those eyes was one Harry thought he would never see again. Pure and utter loathing, greater than it had been in Hogwards all those years ago._

_“She wasn’t anything Draco! She tricked me into it! I have never cheated on you!!” Harry said desperately._

_“Until now you mean.” Draco said cruelly._

_Harry fell back a step as if hit. He knew what he had done, but the blonde wouldn’t even listen. Tears gathered in his own eyes, but he refused to let them fall._

_“Draco, please… just let me explain.” Harry pleaded, almost cringing at the sound off his voice._

_He sounded heartbroken, as if it had been him finding Draco in bed with another, not the other way around._

_“I’ve heard enough.” Draco said harshly, turning to walk out._

_“I thought you actually cared about me Harry. Or Emily at least. But now I know the truth. You are nothing but a heartless bastard.”_

_“Draco, don’t go… we can talk this through.” Harry pleaded, hearing his voice shake._

_It was only then he noticed his body shaking. What was happening to him?!_

_“We have talked enough.” Draco spat out, turning back one last time._

_He looked at Harry with a gaze that spoke of betrayal, sorrow and heartbreak. It broke Harry to see such a strong man look that way. But it broke him more that Draco wouldn’t listen._

_“I thought you were different Harry. This just proves what I believed so long ago. You are nothing but a fake. You disgust me Potter. This was low, even lower than Slytherins go.” Draco had to stop for a breathe, clearly saying these things was wearing him out. “You will be hearing from my lawyer.”  
“What – Draco?”_

_“You can come by and pick up your things next Wednesday. If they aren’t picked up, I will burn them.” Draco began to walk out of the room and towards the door._

_Harry followed, feeling the dam break at last. Tears flowed from his eyes._

_“Draco, we need to talk about this.”_

_“About what Potter? It’s over! Sometimes I wonder if it even really began.” Draco finished in a whisper, but Harry heard him nonetheless. “Have a nice life Potter. See you in court.”_

_With that the blonde walked out of the door, and out of Harry’s life._   
**End flashback.**

 

Harry hadn’t properly seen the blonde since that day. He had indeed seen him in court, but he hadn’t been able to look at him for too long.

In the courtroom Harry had only managed to sit and listen to what was happening around him. Draco had gotten most of Emily’s custody. Harry himself had been able, thanks to his lawyer Seamus Finnigan, to get Emily every second weekend. Draco’s lawyer had objected at the first demand Seamus had come with; every weekend. Harry had not said a word. But it was Draco that had ‘won’ in the end.

Harry only remembered Draco walking out of the room as soon as the contracts had been signed. He himself had waited a while longer, and remembered vaguely being helped out by Seamus. Since then every day had been a blur. That day had been a year and a half ago.

Harry was startled out of his thoughts when the phone rang. He whipped the tears from his face, but made no move to answer. It was a common fact between his friends that he never answered the phone. He did however ring on a few occasions. But those where few, and were becoming even fewer as the time had gone by.

The answer-machine finally picked up when Harry thought he would go mad from the furious ringing.

“You have reached Harry Potter. I’m not in right now, please leave a message after the beep and I’ll call you back later.”

As always, Harry cringed at his own voice. It was little that didn’t make him cringe these days.

“ _Harry, I know you are there, could you please pick up?_ ” It was Hermione, and as usual she sounded worried.

There was a pause before she continued. “ _Anyway, I’m coming over later to pick up Emily. Around three or so._ ”

Another pause, when Hermione continued she sounded a little unsure of her words, but speak she did. “ _You know Harry, for once you could actually return Emily yourself. Draco won’t bite your head off if you do._ ”

Harry snorted. Draco wouldn’t bite his head off; that he knew. But he wasn’t sure he could stand looking into the blonde’s face after so long, only to see the loathing he knew would be there.

“ _Well, I’ll see you three o’clock then. Have her things ready. Bye Harry._ ”

Harry breathed out a sigh of relief. Hermione was the only one who would try to get him to actually answer. The brunette never gave up, but then again, neither did Harry. Until now that was.

He sighed again and walked back into the room where Emily slept. She held her stuffed animal close to her body, sleeping without a care in the world. Harry gently swiped away a tiny lock of blonde hair from her face. In sleep she resembled of an angel.

Once again Harry thought that she didn’t deserve to go through this. And Harry would make sure she wouldn’t have to do so much longer.

The black haired man swallowed the lump in his throat, but he had made up his mind. Now he only had to figure out how to put his plan into action. He quickly checked his wrist-watch. It was close to one. He had two hours. Harry checked that the baby-call was on and quietly walked out of the room. He had a call to make.

~*~*~*~

Hermione turned off the car-engineer and leaned back in her seat. These days she always needed to mentally prepare herself for seeing her best friend. The brunette sighed sadly and got out of the car, locking it with a wave of her wand. Then she began to walk towards the small flat in front of her.

Hermione always somehow dreaded to visit Harry; but only because it pained her how he had become. She straightened her skirt out of habit, and rang the bell. Hermione knew she was early, but she also knew that Harry was home.

The door opened, and she found herself looking into the face that used to belong to one of her best friends. Dull green eyes which used to be so vivid and limp hair that once had been out of control. Once again, Hermione had to fight not to let out a sob for the loss of the great man before her.

“Hey Hermione, come on in.”

God, even his voice had changed! Again Hermione wondered where the joyful man had wandered off to. And again she answered herself. He had died with the heartbreak one and a half years ago.

“Harry, it’s good to see you.” Hermione forced out.

It was always good to see him again, but not to see how he had become.

“Hermione, how many times have I told you to drop the act. I know I how I look.” Harry said while closing the door; gaze firmly locked on the floor.

Hermione bit her lip. She could not respond to that. Instead she looked on into the flat. Harry had moved out of the old one, replacing it with a smaller and simpler one. No matter how tired Harry looked the flat always where spotless.

“Her things are over by the crib. Emily hasn’t woken yet; you might want to wait a little longer.” Harry’s voice said, seeming so far away.

Hermione turned and saw that he was indeed a little away. He had moved into the small kitchen. She sighed inwardly and sat down on the couch.

“Can I get you anything?”

“No, I’m good Harry.” Hermione answered, even though she was in fact a little thirsty.  
Harry returned a one minutes later, a cup of tea and a glass of water in his hands. He placed the tea in front of her, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch.

“How did you know?” Hermione asked, taking a small sip of the warm cup.

“I’m your friend, I know you Hermione. You won’t ask because you don’t want to tire me. I’m fine Hermione, just a little headache.” Harry said, putting a pill in his mouth and swallowing it with the water.

“But I still worry for you! All your friends worry Harry. It pains us to see you like this.”

Harry sighed, suddenly seeming even more tired.

“I just have a few troubles sleeping, that’s all. It’s nothing I can’t handle myself.”

Hermione bit her lip again. There were so many things she wanted to say, but knew it would make no difference if she did. The brown eyed woman could remember the time when the nightmares had ceased to exist. But she would be damned before she mentioned those times to Harry. He already looked heartbroken enough.

A soft cooing sound announced that Emily had awoken. Harry stood up and walked over to the crib. Hermione stood also. Harry lifted the little girl, a small smile on his lips. He never smiled unless Emily was in his arms these days, Hermione noticed sadly.

“I checked her diaper, it’s clean. She also doesn’t seem hungry, so I think she’s ready to leave.”

Hermione almost jumped. She must have been standing in thoughts for quite some time. She smiled and accepted of the almost two year old. As Hermione did so, she saw the little light that was left leave Harry’s eyes. He really didn’t deserve this.

“Thank you. I’ll bring her over on Friday in two weeks. Around six, is that alright?” Hermione asked, picking up the bag as well.

“Sure.” Harry answered. “Do you need any help?”

“No, I can manage.” Hermione answered.

When the brunette drove off, she could still not shake off the look in her friend’s eyes. It had scared her. Tonight she would talk to Ron. Something was very wrong with Harry, and she wouldn’t rest until she found out what.

~*~*~*~

A week went by. That Monday Harry found himself outside of his flat, something that did not occur often. But he had an appointment with Seamus today, and he was planning on running a few other errands as well that afternoon.

Harry pulled the cap more securely over his eyes. He didn’t want to be recognised. Ever since the fall of Voldemort in his seventh year, the media hadn’t been able to leave him alone. But the media hadn’t been able to get hold of him either.

The green eyed man entered a tall building in Diagon Alley. Harry remembered that he hadn’t paid it any mind until he knew what was inside of it. He walked over to the elevator, passed it, and up the stairs. He didn’t want to wait any longer. Reaching fifth floor, Harry was a little out of breathe, but he didn’t stop until he reached the secretary of the floor.

The woman looked up, a small smile on her face.

“Hey Potter, Seamus is waiting for you.” The woman said.

“Thanks Diane.”

The giddy blonde nodded before looking down on her papers again. Harry then proceeded to walk. He walked pass a few doors before finding the right one. He knocked.

“Come in.”

Harry opened the door, and only then took of his cap.

“Harry mate, good to see you!” Seamus said in a thick Irish brogue.

Harry only managed to nod in acknowledgement.

“To be honest, I was a little surprised when you called. What can I do for you?” Seamus asked with a small grin.

Harry took a deep breathe. He had dreaded this.  
“I need to make a few changes on my will.”

To say that Seamus looked shocked was an understatement.

Because of the war, Harry had made a testament in case he would need it. He had never even talked of it until now, and knew that Seamus was wondering why.

“Sure Harry, but why do you need to do that?” The sandy-blonde man asked, Accio-ing a file from somewhere.

“Just in case.” Harry responded.

Seamus looked sceptical still, but gave him the file anyway.

Wizarding testaments where made such that if someone other than the lawyer or the person which testament it was touched it; it would automatically disappear from the witch/wizard’s hands and lock up in a special box. That box could only be opened by the lawyer with the testament’s owner present.

The file didn’t react when Harry touched it, and that only seemed to worry Seamus even more. Harry paid him no mind, and began to read through it. Swallowing another lump in his throat, Harry reached for the quill and began to write.

A few minutes went by. Seamus were twining his thumbs, clearly not knowing what to do.

“How is Dean doing? I heard his gallery was very successful.” Harry said causally.

The Irish man looked startled by the mention of his lover.

“He’s good. Very happy about the gallery of course. I can hardly get him away from his pencils.” Seamus answered finally.

Harry nodded. He finished the sentence before he closed the file again. The hard part was over.

“How are you Harry?” Seamus asked hesitantly.

“Oh, I’m fine.” Harry answered automatically.

The blue eyed man still looked ratter sceptical.

“Are you sure Harry?”

“Yeah, just having a few bad dreams, that’s all.” Harry answered nonchalantly. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Harry.” Seamus said.

Harry walked out of the office, still feeling a little nauseous. Was he doing the right thing? Of course he was; Harry answered himself firmly. He had to be.

**TBC.**

 

**A/N: Well, I’m back from my break with another story! I actually wrote this one a long time ago, but haven’t found the energy to post it until now. As you can see, I’m trying a different typing technique. I hope it’s easier to read than the previous.  
But I don’t have much time to ramble on. It’s getting late. Leave me a little review with your thoughts about my fic eh? Brownies all around for those who do! Flames however, will be used to burn down my school in a stress-induced attack. XD I’m sorry, I’ll start looking for my sanity the first thing in the morning. ;) Cheers!**


	2. Part One

  
Author's notes: What would you do if everything was taken from you? It was because of a drunken encounter that Harry learnt his answer to this phrase. But the real question remains, what is his answer? This is the tragic tale of a broken heart and what it can make someone do, and the consequences of those actions.  


* * *

_Disclaimer: I own nothing! Just the plot… oh, and Emily of course. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling. Also, the song “A Tout le Monde” belongs to Megadeth. Not mine that either._

**Part Two.**

When Harry got home, he was almost out of breath. He couldn’t believe what he had seen in Diagon Alley. He furiously whipped away the tears. The black haired man slung the bag in his hand on the bed, not caring that it hit the headboard and bounced to the middle of the bed.

Of course he could believe what he had seen. Harry sank down to his knees, trying to keep himself from breaking down.

On his way from Seamus’ office, he had seen his ex-lover and their daughter shopping. It both pained and pleased him that they had been there. Pained, because he longed to be there with them, and pleased because of how happy they had looked. But when Harry thought his heart couldn’t break any more, he saw a man walk up to Draco. The small kiss they had shared had broken the little that had been left of his heart.

Of course Draco had found someone. It only made sense. And there was nothing he, Harry, could do. Draco had carried Emily, therefore had more rights on her. Nothing Harry said or did would change that. Not even the fact that Draco now had another lover.

Harry bit his teeth together, trying and failing from breaking down. It hurt to his very bones to see that image. His friends hadn’t told him, and Harry knew why. They had wanted to spare him.

But it only hurt twice as bad by seeing it. When Harry closed his eyes he could still see them. Gazing lovingly into each others eyes, sharing a sweet kiss. It didn’t help the slightest that Emily had seemed to look away from the sight. Because when she had done so, she had seen him.

Harry had run as soon as Emily had begun to point after him, calling for her dad’s attention. He only hoped that Draco hadn’t seen him as well.

Harry calmed himself and managed to stand up on his wobbling legs. It was then he saw his answering-machine blink. Harry pushed the button uncertainly, fearing for what he might hear.

“You have three new messages.” The machine informed metallically.

It beeped once before the first message came. Harry sank down in a chair, absently drying his tears.

“ _Harry, where are you? I stopped by earlier, but you weren’t home. Call me._ ”

Hermione’s voice sounded more worried than usual. Harry wondered what she had come to talk to him about. He figured quickly that he really didn’t want to know.

The machine beeped again and the second message started playing.

“ _Hey Harry. I’m just calling to remind you about the herbs Neville are sending. They should be there in the late afternoon. Hope you are alright, we miss you._ ”

Ginny sounded a little worried herself. When were his friends going to stop worrying about him? Soon, Harry hoped, very soon.

The machine beeped one last time.

“ _Harry, you haven’t called me yet! And yes, I am worried. Listen, I ran into Draco just now, and he said he saw you in Diagon Alley. I want you to call me and tell me what’s going on. That is not a question Harry. Call me as soon as you get this. Bye._ ”

“Fuck.” Harry swore silently.

Draco had seen him. He hated to admit it, but he was going to have to lie. Or else Hermione might just stop him. Harry massaged his temples; he could feel a headache coming. He swallowed another aspirin and picked up the phone. Now it was only to sound convincing.

Hermione picked up at the first ring.

“Where you sitting on the phone Hermione?” Harry asked slightly startled.

“ _I was waiting for your call Harry. Now tell me what you were doing in Diagon Alley._ ” Hermione demanded.

“I went to Gringotts.” Harry answered, which he actually had.

“ _And? You did not just go to the bank Harry._ ”

“I visited Seamus.” Harry said, rubbing his temple with the unoccupied hand.

“ _Oh._ ” Hermione actually sounded surprised. “ _What did you and Seamus do then?_ ”

Harry paused. He really didn’t want to tell her the truth.

“We just went over a few papers.”

“ _A few paper? That’s the reason you went to Diagon Alley today, a few bloody papers?!_ ” Hermione shrieked.

“Hermione, what’s going on with you?” Harry asked, just as he heard another voice in the background.

“ _Didn’t know you swore ‘Mione._ ”

Harry felt his blood freeze. He knew that voice, knew it as well as his own.

“ _Never you mind!_ ” Hermione obviously said to the person she was with. “ _And the question Harry is what’s going on with you!_”

“Who’s that with you?” Harry asked, though he already knew the answer.

“ _Draco of course! Surely you haven’t forgotten his voice that quickly. But that is not the point -_ ”

Whatever Hermione said next was lost to Harry. He couldn’t believe this. Draco was there?

“I’ll call you later Hermione. The kettle is boiling.”

“ _What? Harry -?!_ ”

Harry hung up before she could continue. He put his head in his hands. He could have seen that coming. Hermione and Draco were friends after all. If they had bumped into each other, it was natural that they had gotten together.

The phone rang again, but Harry didn’t take it. He knew it was Hermione, demanding an explanation. He cursed himself for not having disconnected the phone. The answering-machine beeped once, and Harry got to his feet. He really didn’t want to hear this.  
Harry continued to walk away from the phone, into the kitchen. He tuned out his own voice, and waited for the yelling he knew was coming.

“ _Harry James Potter! I cannot believe you just did that!! If it was because of the reason I think it is, it was stupid Harry! I’m very mad at you right now! I’m coming over, and you better not have left._ ”

Harry winced. Maybe hanging up had been just a little overreacted. But now it was done. The green eyed man had an anti-Apparating field on his flat. He would give it five minutes before the furious brunette would turn up, if not even less.

Just then, to his surprise, the phone rang again. Feeling much too tired to walk back into the living room, Harry waited for the machine to pick up again.

“You have reached…”

Harry groaned out loud. The next thing he was doing was to change the voice on his answering-machine. But then again, why bother.

“ _I can’t believe I’m actually calling you Potter, but someone has to talk some sense into you._ ”

Harry froze. Draco was calling him? Harry had to grip the edge of the counter not to fall down from the mere shock of the simple fact.

“ _I know Hermione can be a little too much, but hanging up Potter? You must have a death wish. Also, get over yourself would you. It’s been a year and a half. You don’t have to sneak around with your lovers anymore._ ”

Harry felt his eyes shut. What did Draco know? It was obvious that he wasn’t hurting from the break-up anymore.

“ _Now, Hermione suspects I am the reason you hung up. While I know it, you could try not to be so frigging obvious. Then again, being obvious is what you do. Since Hermione has left I will end this call. Oh, but before I do, the rumours better not be true Potter. Or I will come and kill you before Hermione even reaches your house._ ”

The call ended suddenly, as if the time had run out. But Harry knew better, Draco had not wanted to end it civilly. Not that the black haired man could blame him.

It was then the doorbell rang, announcing that Hermione had finally arrived. Harry groaned and moved to open it.

~*~*~*~

When the door opened, Hermione slapped Harry hard on the cheek. Then she walked in. Hermione knew that slapping him had been a little extreme, but he had deserved it. She heard the door close behind her and only then turned around. The angry retort on her lips never came through when she saw the look on Harry’s face. Hermione couldn’t hold back a gasp this time.

The green eyes were red, Harry had obviously been crying. The red mark after her hand was slowly turning redder. But the look on his face, the sheer look of sadness broke her down.

“Oh Harry, I didn’t mean to -”

She stopped when Harry gently motioned her to. He then walked over to the phone, pushed a code and waited.

“Playing previous message.” The metallic voice informed.

She opened her mouth to speak, but the look in his eyes quietened her. When Draco’s voice sounded, she found herself completely speechless.

“ _... Or I will come and kill you before Hermione even reaches your house._ ”

The call ended, and Hermione still found herself speechless. Harry had sunk down on the couch during the message, looking even more forlorn now. As if he had believed the message had been hallucination, but hearing it again had confirmed his worst fears.

“Oh Harry. I’m sure he didn’t…” But Hermione found that she didn’t know what she was trying to say.

“Can you explain to me what he was talking about?” Harry asked; his voice husky from the previous crying.

Hermione walked over and sat down on her knees in front of him. She took both of his hands in her own.

“He was probably just a little angry that you hung up.” Hermione said softly, finding nothing else to say.

“No that. The rumours, what rumours where he talking about?”

Hermione felt her mouth form an ‘o’. She licked her lips before standing up.

“It’s nothing from the newspapers Harry. They haven’t even written about you in a long time. He must have heard Ron talking with Ginny one evening.” Hermione said stalling.

She didn’t want him to know what they were talking about.

“Tell me Hermione. I just saw him with his new boyfriend; I think I can handle what you talk about without me.” Harry said.

Hermione turned around, still biting her lip. She couldn’t remember when she had started. Harry was leaning backwards on the couch, head tipped back with his eyes closed.

“Not many of your friends have seen you lately, even Ron. One evening after Ron had finally talked to you Ginny came over. She asked how you were. They didn’t know I had Draco over. He must have heard what they said.” Hermione said truthfully.

“Which was? I need to know Hermione.”

Hermione looked up and found herself looking into the green eyes of her best friend. She could not lie to him, it would hurt too much.

“Ron said that you looked ill, like you hadn’t eaten in days. That your hair looked limp and he wondered how that had happened. He also said that you looked tired and that your eyes… that your eyes Harry… looked so dull, like there was no spark left in them.” Hermione finished her tirade with a sob.

“Well, if Draco wishes to murder me for that stupid reason, I will not stand in his way.”

“HARRY!!” Hermione shrieked.

“Why does he care anyway?” Harry asked quietly, as if he hadn’t heard her.

“Of course he does, Harry.” Hermione said between a sob and scolding. “Harry… look at me.”

Harry opened his eyes again. He gave her a tired smile.

“I’m sorry Hermione. Seems like I can’t let the past go.” Harry said with a sigh.

Hermione though she had never seen him look as old as he did now. Twenty one was not an age, but Harry looked at least twenty years older as he sat in his living room, staring right pass her.

Hermione cursed the day that wrench Greengrass had been born. Had it not been for her… The brunette sighed. Past was past. But Harry simply refused to make the future a little lighter. And that made Hermione feel her anger rise again. She forced it down; right now she had other things to take care of.

“Just… promise me not to hang up again.”

Harry nodded. Hermione had wanted him to speak, but it seemed that she had to settle for that gesture.

“How are you feeling Harry? Nightmares still?”

“As fine as I’ll ever be Hermione.” Harry answered casually, then he chuckled humourlessly. “When have I ever slept without nightmares?”

“I could tell you, but right now I have other pressing matters. Don’t forget that I’m coming over on Friday.”

Hermione began to walk towards the door. But something made her turn around and look back at her best friend.

“I won’t forget Hermione. I never forget Emily.”

Hermione gave him a small smile before she closed the door behind her. Still, she couldn’t shake of the feeling that something was wrong. She only hoped she could identify it before something bad happened.

~*~*~*~

Friday came sooner than Harry had anticipated. Not because he was seeing his daughter today. No, Harry always looked forward to seeing little Emily. It was just the thought of seeing Hermione again.

The week had gone by with making adjustments to his plan, and getting everything ready for Monday morning. Harry frowned at the thought of having to wait for Monday, but if he did anything not according to his friends’ schedules, they would suspect something. Everything depended on that his friends were unsuspecting. Or else, they would try to stop him.

Harry sighed and looked up at the clock again. It was close to six. So far so good. The doorbell rang just as the clock struck six. Sometimes Hermione was just too punctual, he thought. Harry opened the door, and felt one of his rare smiles break through his mask at the sight of his daughter. Emily giggled as Harry lifted her up, obviously happy at the sight of her other father.

“Harry, I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

Harry looked away from the grinning face of his daughter at Hermione’s sombre tone. She had put down Emily’s bag and was once again biting his lip. Harry only nodded.

“Draco wants Emily back on early Sunday. He’s going away and wants to bring Emily. I hope that’s okay.”

Harry almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. It was almost as if someone wanted to make his escape easier.

“That’s okay.” Harry muttered finally.

“Oh.” Hermione actually looked surprised, as is she had expected him to object. “Well, I must be going. Ron is taking me out tonight.”

“Did he hit his head in his sleep again? Or did your not-so-subtle hints actually get through his skull?” Harry couldn’t help but to say.

When it came to relationships, Ron was not the one to catch subtle hints easily. Not even when he was dating Hermione, though it had been almost four years. The couple had spent the last half of those years being engaged.

“Yeah, unbelievable isn’t it? Well, I’ll see you around ten on Sunday. Enjoy your weekend Harry.” Hermione said cheerfully.

Harry nodded. Emily was pulling at his hair, trying to get his attention. Harry chuckled and turned to the small girl.

“Pa!” Emily said with a big smile.

“That’s me girl.” Harry said tenderly. “But it’s almost past your bedtime, sunshine.”

Emily pouted at this. But Harry refused to fall under her charm. Harry carried her into his bedroom. After changing the now yawning girl into her night clothes, the black haired man put the girl down in the crib by his bedside. Emily was still refusing to sleep though, pouting.

“I know you don’t want to sleep sunshine, but you have to.” Harry said smiling softly.

The blonde girl clutched her favourite stuffed animal to her chest. Yawning again, she looked almost pointedly at her father.

“Alright, if I sing for you, will you sleep then?”

Emily laughed excitedly. Clearly this had been what she had wanted.

“The only thing I know by heart his hardly a lullaby, Emily.” Harry said brushing hair away from the little girl’s forehead. “But it will have to do.”

Softly Harry sang his favourite song, slowly loosing himself in the music he could hear inside his head.

“ _I don't remember where I was  
I realized life was a game  
The more serious that I took things  
The harder the rules became  
I had no idea what it'd cost  
My life passed before my eyes  
I found out how little I accomplished  
All my plans denied_

_So as you read this know my friends  
I'd love to stay with you all  
Smile when you think of me  
My body's gone that's all_”

Emily was yawning more heavily now. The song, or maybe it was her father’s voice, was lulling her to sleep. Harry smiled inwardly. He began on the verse, hoping that somehow the song would help the girl remember him someday. Closing his eyes against the tears, he sang his heart out.

“ _A tout le monde_  
A tous mes amis  
Je vous aime  
Je dois partir  
These are the last words  
I'll ever speak  
And they'll set me free”

When Harry opened his eyes again, Emily was sleeping. He sighed while gently tucking his daughter in. Casting a silence spell so that she wouldn’t be woken by his nightmares, Harry decided to go to sleep himself. He had a lot to do tomorrow.

~*~*~*~

Hermione was walking down the road towards Harry’s flat. She had decided to walk today, since her and Ron’s small house was not far from the black haired man’s home. She and Ron had enjoyed the weekend together. While it had taken her mind of Harry for a moment, it was coming back to her now. She still felt as if something was about to happen. And that it was going to change her and her friends’ lives.

The brunette shook her head, trying not to think such thoughts, and noticed that she had arrived at her destination. She knocked softly. When she got no answer, the brown eyed woman tried the door. Finding it open, she entered. A soft voice carried Hermione into the living room, where a sight met her.

“ _If my heart was still alive  
I know it would surely break  
And my memories’ left with you  
There's nothing more to say_

_Moving on is a simple thing  
What it leaves behind is hard  
You know the sleeping feel no more pain  
And the living are scarred_”

Harry was signing to a content Emily. The blonde girl was gazing up at her father, gently sucking her thumb. Hermione didn’t want to interrupt, therefore ended up watching as her friend sang to his daughter.

“ _So as you read know my friends  
I'd love to stay with you all  
Please smile, smile when you think about me  
My body's gone that's all_

_A tout le monde_  
A tous mes amis  
Je vous aime  
Je dois partir  
These are the last words  
I'll ever speak  
And they'll set me free”

Emily giggled then, and Hermione had to look closer to see what the cause was. Harry was gently tickling the little girl, who had stopped sucking her thumb. Harry looked up then, and for once; his smile didn’t fade away as he saw her standing there.

“Well girl, it seems that Aunt Mione is here to take you home.” Harry said then, standing up with Emily in his arms.

“Nuhu.” Emily said shaking her head.

“Yes sunshine, it’s time to go home to daddy.”

“No da! Pa!” The blonde girl responded.

“Could you get her bag Hermione? My arms are full.” Harry said, not taking his eyes of the blonde in his arms.

Hermione blinked twice, before realizing what he had asked her to do. One minute later she was out in the living room again, bag slung over her shoulder.

“It’s time to go now Emily.” Hermione said gently, as Harry gently placed the girl in her arms.

Again Emily shook her head. Hermione saw Harry sigh.

“I know you don’t want to go sunshine. But you will see me again soon, okay? Go with Mione now, your daddy is waiting for you.” He said kissing his daughter’s forehead.

Emily seemed satisfied then, and let herself be taken to the door. It was when Hermione opened the door that Emily looked back over at her father and began to squirm. She held out her small arms, almost as if she wanted Harry to come with them.

“I can’t come, sunshine. You will see me again soon. Give daddy a kiss from me.” Harry called back.

Emily pouted, but didn’t squirm anymore as Hermione walked away with her. Hermione looked back, and saw Harry looking after them forlornly. She smiled to him, a smile he returned half-heartedly.

Little did Hermione know, as she walked on, that it was to be the last time she would see him.

~*~*~*~

It was all over the news the next day. Big headlines proclaimed; **The Man Who Lived Is Missing!** Or; **The Defeater of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named: Vanished!** The papers seemed happy to finally have something concerning Harry Potter to write about; writing about nothing else for two days straight. And all over the wizarding world, people were frantic. Harry Potter was missing, and no one knew where he had gone off to.

Harry Potter’s friends though; were mad with worry.

It was Tuesday afternoon, and Hermione had just gotten off the phone after speaking to Draco. Though he may have seemed cool and uncaring Hermione knew he was just as worried as the rest of them. Seamus Finnigan had showed up on her doorstep a few minutes before, blaming himself for some reason. Currently the brown eyed woman was sitting in her living room with a red-faced Ron, Ginny biting her nails (Neville hadn’t been able to get off work) and a very worried Dean comforting Seamus. Draco was cutting down on his trip to come back home, but just because of work as he had stated. Hermione didn’t believe him one bit.

The argument between Ron and Seamus brought Hermione back from her thoughts.

“You’re saying that Harry came to you a week ago to change his will, and that you didn’t tell us!?” Ron half roared.

Hermione fought not to hit her fiancé. Sometimes his temper got the best, or actually the worst as the case were, of him.

“I know I should have said something, but I totally forgot.” Seamus said with a voice thick with his trademark Irish brogue.

“How could you forget you -”

Ron never managed to finish as Ginny interrupted him angrily.

“Just shut up all of you! We have more important mattes to talk about. Like where Harry can be!”

That shut the arguing males up. Hermione looked over at the red haired female in gratitude. She was getting tired of all the yelling herself.

“We are all worried for Harry, but that does not mean that we can start yelling at each other. Fighting helps nothing.” Ginny finished tiredly.

“Have you read what Harry wrote Seamus?” Hermione asked quietly.

“No, I can’t unless he is declared dead or worse.” Seamus answered, shadows heavy underneath his eyes.

Ron swore, and this time Hermione did hit him.

“What can we do? I just can’t just sit here and do nothing!” Ron said, looking twitchy.

“There is nothing we can do.” Hermione said in a defeated tone.

Ron truly looked worried now. And Hermione knew why. If she herself admitted defeat, then there was truly nothing they could do.

“I can name one that isn’t worried about Harry.” Ron said surly, after a few minutes of heavy silence.

“And who would that be Ron?” Dean asked, since no-one else spoke up.

“Malfoy!”

On cue, everyone in the room groaned. Hermione swatted at him, but even she knew there was no power behind the blow.

“It’s true! The little ferret wouldn’t listen to what Harry had to say, and now look what has happened!!” Ron continued to rant.

“Mate, even I agree that Draco can be a bit on the stubborn side, but Harry didn’t say anything either! He sat back and let it all happen.” Dean said in a controlled voice, as if he was longing to hit his redheaded friend.

“Are you blaming Harry now? You -”

“That’s it!” Hermione yelled. “If nobody can behave like adults, let’s not talk at all!”

The silence that continued was so thick it could have been cut with a knife. Dean and Ron were glaring at each other. Ginny had stopped biting her nails, only to start biting her lip instead. Seamus was looking at his cell-phone as if it was going to blow any minute. And Hermione sat deep in thoughts. She ever so often looked over at Seamus. She was worried for him. She knew that if something happened to Harry, he would be the first to receive the call.

Just when the tension was becoming too much, it became thicker by one innocent sound; the sound of a phone ringing.

Seamus lifted the cell to his ear, already deathly pale. Hermione saw him nod and reply awkwardly when he needed to. As soon as the call had come it ended.

Seamus’ eyes were on the floor. Dean massaged his shoulders, urging him to tell what was wrong. Finally Seamus lifted his eyes. They were red.

“That was the Auror Department. They found a car rented to Harry.” Seamus gulped down air before he continued. “The car was… they found it…”

“What Seamus? Is Harry alright?” Ginny asked worryingly.

“Where did they find the car Seamus?” Hermione asked, knowing that no-one else dared to ask the same question.

“In a lake, at the bottom of a… a height. They think it slid and…”

Seamus was openly crying now, tears steadily flowing down from his blue eyes.

“They think that it hit something and slid off the road and into the lake.”  
Hermione pressed her eyes together tightly. This couldn’t be happening. And yet, it somehow was.

“And Harry?” Ron asked; voice laded with grief.

“The car was too smashed up. No trace off him, but there is no way he could have gotten out alive or survived the fall.”

Ginny sobbed loudly, Seamus following her. Hermione sat there, feeling the shock wash away. As her fiancé threw a tantrum, Ginny sobbed in the arms of Seamus, Dean tired to calm down Ron, she herself sat quietly. All she could think of, as silent tears fell from her eyes, was how she was going to tell Draco.

~*~*~*~

Ron had cried himself out the night before. He had also yelled himself empty. There was nothing left, only the empty place where his best friend should have been. Hermione had begged him to come with her to tell Draco. Personally, he would ratter have hit the git in the face, but he had come anyway.

Fortunately (or was it unfortunately) Draco had been on the move and had not heard about Harry’s demise. Ron had wanted to just let the blond know by reading the newspaper. But when he had said so, Hermione had simply given him a look and he had shut up.

Which was why he now sat in Draco’s living room, waiting for his fiancée to drop the bomb.

“What is so important that it couldn’t wait until an hour after I had gotten back?” Draco drawled in a bored tone.

Ron saw Hermione bite her lip, probably to keep herself from crying. She looked up at him, silently asking him to take care of the talking. Ron sighed, but did as she asked anyway.

“Well, you know that Harry’s missing right?” Ron asked, finding it hard to being elsewhere.

“Right.” Draco said, not sounding so bored anymore. “And?”

Hermione looked at him again. With her eyes she beckoned him to look closely at Draco as he spoke. She didn’t really have to. Ron had already noticed the change in Draco’s posture. The git was worried for Harry alright, whether he wanted to admit it or not.

“Eh, the Aurors found his car.” Ron continued awkwardly.

Why couldn’t Hermione say this? He didn’t care for the git at all. Nor did he want to bring the news of his friend’s death. Just the thought of it almost made Ron cry again, but just almost.

“The car? What the fuck are you talking about Ronald?” Draco asked impatiently.

Or at least, that was what the blond had tired to sound.

“They didn’t find… Harry has been…” Ron found that he actually couldn’t say it; there was a lump in his throat preventing him from saying the actual word.

“Has been what Weasley? Declared dead?” Draco said more than he asked with a disbelieving laugh.

Ron stayed quiet. He could feel that Hermione was crying again against his shoulder.

“They never actually found his body, but he has been declared dead.” Ron spat the last word out, almost feeling sick.

Draco stayed quiet. His mouth had become a thin line; the little colour he had had vanished from his face.

“Don’t fuck with me Weasley.” Draco said icily.

“I don’t fuck when it comes to my best friend’s life. He’s dead.”

Just then Ron understood why Hermione defended Draco so much in banters. Ron could only watch the transformation before him.

The first tear fell almost unnoticeably. But when the second came, the entire mask that was Draco Malfoy fell with it. Hermione launched herself from Ron’s neck. She hugged the broken blond before them, trying to calm him down.

Ron could do nothing else but to watch Draco break apart. He had been wrong about the grey eyed man after all. He did care about Harry.

But Ron was not to find out how much Draco cared for Harry until much later. And by then, it was much too late.

~*~*~*~

_Two Days Earlier:_

Heartbreak. The sound of someone breaking down. Images. A man crying. A woman whispering to herself; _if only I had seen it sooner._ A man screaming a name then; _how could you? Fuck you, just fuck you!_ A little girl looking for her father; wondering why he wasn’t there. Pain, heartbreaking pain. More screaming. The pale face of a friend. The wreck of something and yelling. A funeral, many people gathering around an empty coffin. Dark and silence. Emptiness, loneliness. A loud crack. Another heart breaking. Words in a memorial service, more crying. Then a single voice; _I loved you, no… I love you._ Last, a whisper; _Harry._

Then he woke up.

Harry sat up, gulping down mouthfuls of air. He felt his cheeks. Yes, he had been crying again. Another nightmare then.

He got out of bed, stretching his protesting limbs. The green eyed man looked out; the Monday sky was just beginning to lighten. Too early for anything to be open. Harry sighed and began to pack. He couldn’t stay at the muggle motel much longer.

A few hours later Harry was back out on the road. He had rented a car the night before. And then he had taken off. He knew it was stupid to take off like this, but he couldn’t stand it anymore.

As he drove Harry tried to remember his dream. It had not been the usual Draco-nightmare. No, this one had been different. But no matter how hard he tried, Harry could not remember what it had been about. Harry sighed and continued to watch the road.   
The day passed without much happening. The sky began to steadily darken. Harry could feel that there was a storm approaching. He stopped quickly for some food before he was out again. The trip so far had been dull, the silence inside the car only broken by the steady breathing of the driver. Harry didn’t want to listen to music, where he was sure the news later would talk on and on about his disappearance. No, silence was better.

There were few cars on the road. The landscape around him consisted of open fields and mountains. And it was while driving up a height the rain broke. Harry sighed again, and carefully watched the wet road. As he came to a tricky corner, the rain was coming down with no mercy. Harry watched for any cars as he began to turn the corner. He didn’t even see the larger one.

Harry saw only the blinding light and a honk before the two vehicles crashed into each other. The sound of the impact was horrifying. Harry couldn’t control the car as he was half-conscious. The impact sent the larger car into the mountain wall. Harry’s car on the other hand, was sent towards the edge.

Harry opened his eyes wide when he saw the edge approach. He knew there was nothing he could do.

The car slid of the edge and Harry closed his eyes. The first hit of rocks weren’t bad, the second were though. Harry felt a tear leak from his eye.

_I’m sorry Draco._ He thought as he struggled to open the seatbelt. _I’m sorry for the pain I caused you. I’m sorry for this too. I love you Draco._ Harry chocked back a sob as the belt went free. _Oh Emily. I’m sorry sunshine, I’m so sorry. Emily._

There was a soft crack, then more crunches as the car hit the mountain wall two, three more times. The car then hit the lake with a _SPLAT_ before hitting the shallow bottom. A few waves in the water, and then Harry Potter was no more.

 

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The End.

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**A/N Damn, I cried while writing this. Can you believe this came to me while I tried to fall asleep? XD Anyway, A huge thanks to all my reviewers. You truly are the best!  
Crappy ending, I know. But that's where it ended. And just as I promised, he didn't commit suicide. It was an accident. And I tried writing a follow-up a year ago or so but... it's harder than it looks! *lol* Let me know what you guys think. Maybe I just need a little motivation? *laugh*  
Don't forget to review eh? Like every other writer I live off reviews! XD Feed the addiction!!**


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